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İsyankar Üzüm

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Sözlükte durduğu durmuyor bugün sözcükler
Gurmeyimdir ben
Ana şefkatiyle sararken kucağına acılar beni
Zira, en leziz sevapları tattım
Ve huzur, bir baba gibi küsünce bana
Lakin masumiyetten bıktım
Uzatmıyordu elini,
Çıldırmış bir delia idim
Öpmek için varsam da…
Gittim, en kesif günahların dibine battım

Sol damağımda günahın, sağımda sevabın tadı hala durur
Yağmura kızan insan kadar nankör olmadım hiçbir zaman
İsyan içimde kuduz bir kurt gibi ulur
Ama aşkı bile terk edecek kadar hain oldum

Huzur af dilemeli benden

Uğramadığı her gün için
Mezhepsiz gayrimeşru hayallerden, karabasanlı kabuslar
Aşk affetmeli beni
düşledim.
Terk edip gittiğim için
Zürriyetsiz namert kelimelerden, galiz küfrüler devşird-

im.
Acem usulü gözyaşlarım yaralı bir su gibi,
Paslanmış çilingir sofralarında, isyankar dualar ettim.
Kanıyordu şırıl şırıl
Aşüftelerin yozlaşmış kasıklarından, arsız günahlar pey-
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dahladım.
Dökülüyordu dipsiz kuyulara
Köhnemiş haram memelerinden, kifayetsiz cürümler
Ağır ağır…
soğurdum.

Eprimiş naçiz dudaklarında, hayırsız buseler aradım.
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Kefil olsam, kelebeklerin borcuna olurdum
Kalanın ben olduğumu.
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Şimdi, çilingir sofrasındaki mezelerle aynı kaderi pay-
Ama ben, ola ola dağ başında bir bağa üzüm oldum
laşıyorum.

Aşklıktan ölüyorum,
Pişkindi pişmanlığım
Kahrımdan gülüyorum,
Ayıptan utanıyordu arım
Mantığımdan saçmalıyorum,
Ben ki tanrının yaltakçı kuluydum
Yalnızlığıma tecavüz ediyorum.
İnsanlara yemiş olacağıma
Bundan daha fazla kaybedemem artık.
İsyankar üzümler gibi şarap oldum.
Davet edin bütün insanları, cinleri, ifritleri, şeytanları,

Doldurun şarapları,

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Bugün bütün günahları ben ısmarlıyorum.

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